Existence
Sometimes I wonder, what’s the meaning of this all? What’s the meaning of all this suffering?
If at last we all are going to die? If our mere existence is going to be mixed into the soil?
All the ‘great’ things we achieve just don’t matter. All the sacrifices you’ve made? nothing
really mattered.
How did we get here? On a floating rock, in the middle of nowhere? What are we destined to do?
I ask these questions to myself, when I get bored, but it doesn’t help, I’ve been asking these questions to myself
a lot lately, and I reach nowhere.
Seriously, like how did we even get here, my brain cannot even comprehend. The questions keep rising,
the beginning of the universe, the time, the space, the stars, the galaxy, the emptiness.
How small we are as compared to everything or how insignificant we are.
If an asteroid the size of a continent comes flaming down on this planet, we ARE DOOMED.
I don’t even know what I’m writing. But does that even matter? It fucking does not.
All the plans you made, all the dreams you had, all will get lost into the vast nothingness.
And all the ‘important’ seeming stuffs will pretty quickly turn to nothing. I’m not suggesting you to
just kill yourself because we aren’t as important as mere dust particles on your desk, but just asking you
to look at all this differently.
I want to talk about god too. I am being honest with myself when I say I’m not an atheist. But the way we humans
potray god is confusing to me. God, the creater of the universe, the all knowing, the omnipotent, the omnipresence;
would care about us? WHY? US?
But does that mean we should give up everything and go live in mountains away from everything? I don’t know. And I don’t care. Well, maybe I do.
But what I know is, I just want to live, have fun, between this small break from my nonexistence.
I think about death, my death. I know I probably won’t have control over it(obvioulsy).
Death ,we can’t escape it, something each and every living being is bound to go through.
We know we will face it eventually but try to escape it, it is the most realeast thing ever. I’m not brave enough to face death right now
but also not that naive to ignore the fact that it’ll come for me eventually.
When I die, I don’t want to have any regrets, none for the things I did, none for the things I didn’t.
You may have portrayed me as some sort of nihilistic guy, maybe I am, maybe I am not, even I do not know who I am
myself. And does it even matter? at last?