Who I am. Who am I?

I act like I care about others, I act like I am humble.
But deep down, I don’t care about others, I am a narcissist, I am a selfish fuck.
I act like I know everything. I act like I can do anything. I act like I am special.
Deep down I know, I am a piece of shit, a jerk, a sociopath, I act like I am interested in others.
I act like I don’t care about others, I act cool, ignoring others,and I still try to fit in with others.
I am a hypocrite, I have a problem with how others act, I have problem with how others talk.
I hate how weak people can be, but I am a weak fuck too.
I am manipulative, I manipulate other’s insecurities to make myself feel better.
I give out advices like I have it all figured out. But I can’t do anything with my own life.
I have no control over lust. I lack discipline, I am a privileged fuck.
I get jealous, I get angry, I feel disappointed.
I lie to myself, everyday, I have been lying to myself for 2 years.
What I am writing is a lie. What I am living is a life of lie.
I lie to myself, I tell myself I’ll be better.

I now realize how full of shit I am. How much of an ungrateful fuck I am.
How much I lie to myself.
How much I have to change. What I have become, who I want to become and why.
I am realizing.

“Most people are other people, their thoughts are someone else’s opinion, their lives a mimicry, their passion a quotation.”
-Oscar Wilde